It is not easy keeping your happy up, but it's only been a week so I am certainly far from giving up. I will keep writing to my future self, sending reminders of of the good things in life. If it's worth having it is worth working for. And I will keep reading and investigating ways to make a positive difference in my life.
Meaning. Meaning in life is meant to bring happiness. This is what I've been thinking about for the last few days. People who have meaning in their lives are supposedly happier than those who don't. Does my life have meaning in it? According to things I've read my answer would be no, it does not have meaning. My life is meaningless. My life is nothingness.
I am of course comparing my life to other people's. I am listening to what other people say is meaning and I am finding nothing. So what do other people call meaning?
Meaning comes from Religion. I can't say that religion adds any meaning to my life. My dad goes to Church every week and I have asked him why. He doesn't really know, but I think he likes the time away from home, an hour of peace and quiet. Maybe I could have some fun reading up on religions, maybe even trying a few out. Hmm, this could be fun....
Meaning comes from having a job that makes a difference, or a calling to a caring sort of profession. I work in a casino. I fell into by accident. Although I do enjoy my job, I didn't choose it, I don't agree with a lot of the marketing and antics. I wanted to be a teacher when I left school, but when I finally earned a place on a post grad course I hated it. I do not have a calling.
Meaning comes from relationships. I am single. I wish I wasn't, but I am. I would rather be single than going out with the wrong person, so I will stay this way for now, but it can be rather lonely coming home after work with only telly or a book to keep me company. Maybe I should get a wee kitten? No meaning from relationships for me though.
Meaning comes from being a parent. See above. This is not going to happen anytime soon, so yet again, no meaning.
Where will I find meaning? Apparently people who try too hard to find meaning in their lives can end up more unhappy and more miserable than they did before they realised that they had no meaning! This is a bit of a sticky situation.
Surely I can't have no meaning. Maybe by listening to other people and comparing my life to their lives I don't have meaning. Fair enough I don't have a fabulous husband, marvelous genius children, a circle of amazing and witty friends to drink coffee with every night and enjoy the banter with.
I need to concentrate on what I do have in my life already that has meaning. I have a job, it might not be a calling, but I can choose to make the most it, get some meaning that way. I am an auntie and my nieces are fantastic (genius, even). Soon I will have more nieces or nephews. It's so much fun being an auntie - you get lots of fun, lots of love and very, very few dirty nappies to have to deal with. I have hobbies, well I have a plethora of vague interests that i can certainly develop into a hobby. And I might not see my friends every day and we might mostly be tea drinkers (and gin), not coffee drinkers, but they are actually amazing and witty and good with the banter and I love every single one of them.
So, what is the meaning and where is the meaning? I just need to look a bit deeper and stop comparing what I have to what other people say I should have. I will keep searching for my meaning, but I will search in my own life.
No comments:
Post a Comment